Sunday, September 22, 2013

I am deeply, deeply offended

I wanna have a cookout at my house. But I heard my neighbor three blocks over might have a water pistol. so, I called the cops. Because the Declaration of Independence guarantees my Right to Enjoy My Life Without Fear of being Squirted.

Waitaminute ... I LOST?

I'm pretty sure my wife voted for me. I may have to delete this blog again.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Has anyone seen my mail truck?

Someone told me they saw it at the intersection of West McClure and Loucks. But that's umpossible because those two streets never cross. I work for the post office so I should know.

Har Har Har

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

OK, so I am coming out of retirement

I decided it would be wrong to deprive the Peoria City Council of my wisdom. Which consists entirely of telling council members they suck.

Once again, I grow weary and plan to retire

Now, where's that button to erase all my posts?